Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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