Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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