What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
