Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
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So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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