so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
