We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
