is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
