wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
