I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize