i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
