she smelled like a LAN party
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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