yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
