I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
