Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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