Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My cat gives me a boner
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
