i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize