I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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