Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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