If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
