He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize