dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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