Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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