If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
