What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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