I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
