I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
porn star boner night. come get it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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