Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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