I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
