who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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