So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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