My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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