ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
