Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
