I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
