dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
