I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
