Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
