I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
