Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
