you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
