I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
