I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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