So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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