I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want to walk on stilts...naked
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.