just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I didn't notice because vodka
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?