so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.