His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...