for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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