omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
a search helicopter?!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this