return my video game
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
