The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
