Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
