I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
