So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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