you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
