Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
