foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
