So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
