i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
