I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
