Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
