He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
