you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
